Snapping at loved ones. Laughing less. Engaging in battles to defend myself. Feeling a heavy weight on my shoulders…
Recently I came to realize I was doing all of these. And more. And these things are not me. They are a product of a decision I made. But they are not me. They are not congruent with the image I have of myself. The positive, energized, idea-generating and giving person who loves life and people. THAT’S who I am.
This other meaner, needy, stressed out avatar was not going to work for me. I had to figure it out.
Donning my therapy sneakers, I headed out to solve the problem.
Lap 1- “Running stinks. I hate running.”
Lap 2- “This is crazy. I can’t stand __________ (fill in long laundry list of complaints)”
Lap 3- “I can’t breathe. Why have I let my exercise program go??”
Lap 4- “I have to accept the way things are right now so I can move forward.”
Laps 5-8 “What different choices can I make to get back to my true self?”
After I slowed to a recovery lap and was able to breathe, I realized Lap 4 was the turning point. The eye opener for me.
Unmet expectations are the fastest path to discontent. I had to accept my situation for what it was. I had to accept the consequences of choices I had made. I had to accept others and the world as it is right now. And the hardest part…I had to accept me. Exactly as I am. Down to every last flaw.
Because only after you get to acceptance can you make change.
Fighting it. Wishing things were different. Blaming others for their inadequacies. Or hiding from my mistakes. These things were never going to help me get to where and who I want to be.
Have you ever experienced anything like this? Have you ever sat stuck in the muck of despair, blame, judgment, and felt it changing who you were at your very core?
It’s common. Frighteningly common.
But the good news is…acceptance can be a launching pad for better choices and happier days. I used to think that acceptance meant I was giving up. But that’s so far from the truth. Acceptance is the key. The key to peace and to change.
Send me a note and let me know your thoughts….I’m here for you.
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